Soundless
Video, audio, installation
8’40”
2022
I think or I feel.
I don’t know which. I don’t know how to tell the difference.
But I feel or think that feelings rule my life. Much more than thoughts.
Thoughts are used to structure and control feelings. Or pretend that they are something they are not.
Yes, but what about the quiet voice?
It’s a secret. It’s serious. The quiet voice is the loudest.
It’s silent. It’s soundless.
Yes, but tell me about total darkness.
I can do this.
But most of the time it’s too loud for this deafening silence.
People often talk about silence as a healing thing. Mindfulness, yoga and taking long walks in the forest. Silence is the way to hear more and listen better. In a way, this is true. But what they don’t say is that silence also can be very devastating.
It was the first and only time I endured the destructive character of silence. Their silence filled up the negative space of the room and then it brutally embarked my entire body. I don’t mean it as a metaphor, it’s an actual tangible shape.
It was the secret of the silence and the silence of the secret.
I want to forget. But the weird thing about forgetting is that you will never realise when it happened.
Yes, but don’t break the silence.
In conversation, I can’t stand the silence. I think it’s awkward. But it becomes more awkward when I try to fill up the silence.
Afterwards, I feel like an idiot.
I feel or I think.
I don’t know which. I don’t know how to tell the difference.
But I think or feel that thoughts rule my life. Much more than feelings.
Feelings are used to give them a form. Or pretend that they aren’t something that they are.